the only aisle i’ll be walking down is the alcohol section of my local grocery store
vvierd: true embarrassment lies within your first email address
internetexplorers: *snorts a line of hot chocolate powder*
qrave: Talking to your parents on the phone ...
gumiappendsweet: my favorite thing about european history is that henry viii started his own religion just so he could divorce his wife
fournarnia: always follow your heart but more importantly follow me
catnus: You see these arms? *flexes* wii sports resort
Weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Being thin does not address...– Geneen Roth (via housewifeswag)
amerryleetlechristmas: ok i’ve drank like 3 bottles of this “no more tears” shampoo but it still hasn’t worked
casabloncas: i want to do pg 13 things with u
esexist: what if you were holding a puppy and being like “aw whos the cutest wittle puppy in the whole wide world?” it responded in a grown mans voice just like “i am the cutest puppy in the whole wide world”
aberrantkenosis: in case you ever wanted to know...
blessthebutt: my favorite flavor of cake is more